AUNTIE EM! It's a TWISTER!

So the Humidity Festival has been going on lately. Gets to be about 90 degrees with 200% humidity. Everybodies hair gets funky and then we have storm warnings. The village tornado siren goes off and we all go and stand in our driveways which is just the opposite of what the siren is telling you to do. I guess the term village idiots is rather accurate.

Anyway. Saturday night we had one of these (see picture...which I can't take credit for) come spinning through. It really didn't look that bad by us. I know that for a fact because when the siren went off I went out side and stood on the wet sidewalk in my barefeet and assessed the situation. I deemed it safe. I've always been terrified of storms every since my French-Canadian grandmother (who was a bit of a mental case) made us lie on the bed with our shoes on while she raced around the house throwing holy water on the windows and lighting candles. Wouldn't that scare the shit out of YOU? But I digress...as usual...So I returned to the living room sofa to finish eating dinner (yes the living room sofa...you know you do it too) and watch the storm warnings crawl across the bottom of the screen. The big guy in the picture above, came within a short distance of where my teenagers were making pizzas at a restaurant where they work. The power and phones went out but no damage to the pizza kingdom. Lots of damage however to very tall scary powerful high tension lines, trees, vehicles and other stuff that isn't made to fly through the air, but actually did a pretty good job of it Saturday night. Major expressway near us is closed due to teeny bits of semi truck that the tornado pretty much ground up as it went through. I can't remember the last time we've had so many severe storms. Makes me want to stop all those cows from farting and melting the polar ice caps...you know that methane from cows is causing all this, right? Google it. I swear.

You'll be sorry you read this one

It's another installment of "Meet Frosty's Friends". When we got her from the breeder, she came with a cute little stuffed bear that they had let her mama and siblings sleep with so that she wouldn't miss them. She still YIPED like she was being skewered the whole first night despite said cuddly bear friend.

We threw the bear in the cage with her every time we put her in her crate. The bear was pretty much bigger than she was for a really long time. Not being completely "potty trained", Frosty had a bad habit of...'wetting' in her cage. I washed blankets and bedding constantly and noticed the cage still had an odor. I washed out the whole bottom and still...bad funky smell. It was the BEAR. Who now no longer smelled like baby pomeranian and mommy pomeranian. No..the bear had earned a new name. Pissy.


So this is Pissy. OH CALM DOWN, I WASHED IT. Frosty ADORES Pissy in a sort of unnatural way. She hauls this damn bear all over the hose and bangs it on the floor so it will squeak like that freaking CARROT, Fourteen. She also...and this is the scary, disturbing part...sucks on Pissy's nose...until she falls asleep...like it's some sort of WEIRD dog pacifier. Oh man. I always get the FREAK dogs!! You know what else is fun? Throwing Pissy against the wall and Frosty dashes after her, can't stop on that shiny wood floor and CRASH! (heheh) . COME ON...the dog TORTURES ME with barking and chewing and general constant mayhem! She doesn't even FLINCH when she skitters into the wall...which probably says even more about her. I always pick the freaks.