Got some time on my hands.

Monday, I had the pleasure (insert scream here) of having my right biceps tendon removed from where nature put it and re-tacked in a spot that my arm doesn't seem to approve of all that much. Since said surgery, I've been "recovering" (read as: stoned on narcotics) at home in our big brown recliner. I've really come to like this chair except for one small detail. The lever thing that allows the foot to go up and down is on the right side of the chair...the same side as my reconstructed wing. Yep..you can see this coming can't you...I get trapped in the chair. I can't lie on our sofa because there have been whole PEOPLE that have disappeared when they have sat on that sofa. It's one of those really soft, sofas with a vortex. You just can't get out of it once you sit down. Which is really funny when you have well dressed house guests, but I digress.

So my well meaning husband gets me all tucked into the chair. Juice on the left side, laptop all plugged in, blankies, pillows, telephone, etc. It never fails...he leaves the room and my bladder, who has been well behaved all morning, starts making comments about how FULL it is. I try to ignore my bladder, but it's about as easy to ignore as a fire siren in the room. So..I weakly and pathetically (for effect, I really don't feel that bad), call for Joe who trudges back in and proceeds to untuck me from all of the comforts that he previously had set up, thinking I would take a NICE LONG NAP. By the end of the day yesterday, I think he'd had it with the whole process because he kept asking me "are you sure you need the foot up on that recliner" I knew it had gotten more serious when he said "AREN'T YOU DUE FOR MORE MEDICATION??"

Born to be wild

Sitting in the living room watching some mind inspiring television (Miami Ink...COME ON...it's art!) and Emma (oh have you met Emma? She'll be 4 in November..back to the show) comes sliding into the room in her stocking feet and plops into her nest of blankets in front of the television. She watches about a minute of Miami Ink (yes I know the vampire lady tatoo on the thigh of the vampire lady is woefully inappropriate for her to watch). Without even turning to look away from the image on the screen, Emma says "is that a TATOO???". My 18 year old raises one eyebrow at me and says to Emma "Yes and where did you learn about tatoos??". Emma just sighs dreamily and says "I WANT a tatoo".

So about the blog name...

You know it's happened to you. You're all prepared for something and then it doesn't quite turn out the way you thought it would. Come on..you remember...back in school...you studied and studied and studied. Made all those multi colored three by five card flash cards. You knew all the parts of a plant stamen and you were READY for that test! The instructor merrily hands out the exams..."okay ladies and gentlemen....BEGIN" and you flip that mother freaking test over...YES! Label the plant stamen parts! Flying through the multiple choice, screaming through the matching and then you flip to the last page (insert ominous chord of music here). AND THERE'S A MATH PROBLEM. Beads of cold sweat break out...this wasn't on the study guide!!! And that's when that little indignant voice speaks up in your head "I was told there would be NO MATH!!".

It's the unexpected. The stuff that you should be able to deal with, but each and every time you encounter that "stuff" there's a little voice protests.."HEY! I was told there would be NO math!" Happens to me on an almost daily basis. It's the stuff I should be ready for...the stuff I should have been paying attention to, but I was doing something infintely more important at the time and therefore...I'm NEVER prepared.

I'm very bad about preparing for the "math" in life. I can plan a party, plan a meeting, schedule a life changing surgery, but that "math" stuff that I should prepare for...I'm always passing notes in class or something...you know the stuff I mean..property taxes, name changes on important documents, making that dentist appointment that's required before the first day of school..that's the kind of stuff I'm talking about. And when they say..."oh you should have had that done...you were told about it" that's when that little voice inside me yells "BUT I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE NO MATH!".