Someone took a marketing class

Holiday party coming up. Last year, I was WOEFULLY under dressed. Not that it's a black tie affair or anything, but it's definitely not a "oh I'll just wear my work Dockers and one of my less faded shirts that I've worn a kazillion times". So, I had a 40 percent off coupon for Coldwater Creek. I had been oogling the catalogs that they send me every other day for a few weeks and I had found THE PERFECT DRESS. Of course the coupon expires on the 23rd and I decided that I'd better go look for dresses on the 22nd, so I had to go a real live store to see if I could try on said "PERFECT DRESS". Seemed to make more sense than to order it and find that when I got it, it either didn't fit or made me look like I was wrapped a combination of drapery and doilies. It always looks so GOOD in the catalog.

So, went to the store and of course the store doesn't carry the same thing that the catalog does. What the hell is that?? Anyway, I did about 400 laps around the store before I finally settled on something else. But I could only pick out the skirt. I had no idea what to put with it. In a short time I had no less than FOUR store employees trying to help me put something together. I was walking around with one of them who asked "what size are you sweetie?" . I looked hopelessly at my chest and said "Large?" She shook her head. I said "You think bigger??". She said "No, honey, SMALLER." and handed me a medium. I instantly liked this woman.

I tried on each combination of blouses and skirts and was scrutinized by the sales women. "mmmmm...too casual with that skirt", "Oh HONEY, wrong color", "Maybe you should take off the Christmas socks...". I had half the store in the fitting room and came out in the very first combination I'd tried on...they all went "OH YES! That's the one!". My new best friend (Miss 'You're a MEDIUM") said to me. "Oh sweetie that shows off your figure so nice!" All the other sales women nodded wisely and put in their two cents about how it laid nice here or the skirt hung nice there. Then my new forever best friend said to me "You have a figure like...OH WHAT is her NAME???....Catherine Zeta Jones!". I stared at her with pure love in my heart.

FIRST let's clarify that I do NOT have a Catherine Zeta Jones figure. I have closer to a Trisha Yearwood figure...with bigger boobs...and I'm shorter...okay, I look nothing like her...but the point is THIS....I am NOWHERE close to CZJ! But I bought every single thing I had on when that woman said that to me and I would have bought anything else she would have suggested, including green and purple sequined farmer overalls and hot pink go-go boots.

I wonder if Catherine has hot pink go-go boots.....I'll bet my new best friend could sell her some...and probably a matching purse. But she's MY new best forever friend! Get your own friend CATHERINE!!