When you think that you're in danger....

So..this one time...I went to a bar with some friends. (This is going NOWHERE good.) I wasn't going to go and then my cousin called and talked me into it (read as...told me I was going...). So I got "dressed up" and headed down to the teeny tiny bar in the teeny tiny town where we were to meet. I changed clothes and tried to do something with my hair and when I left I thought I looked ACCEPTABLE...at least not SCARY or anything. I cranked up the Maroon 5 CD and off I went.

Okay..the bar was really really small in a really really really small rural town. One side is a restaurant, the other is a bar. Did I mention how small it is? Everyone starts showing up and having drinks. Drinks of course lead to more drinks and the next thing you know, several of us are singing the theme to "Super Chicken" and yelling "Hey bring that whole box of wine to the table!". And I don't mean a box of wine bottles...I mean the kind of wine that comes in cardboard.

After a few glasses of Chardonnay from a box...I started thinking that I looked pretty good! We were having a great time, talking, laughing and then...the dancing started. Pretty soon people were standing on chairs and taking pictures of each other's feet. We moved from the restaurant side to the bar side and three of us set up shop behind the bar that was being tended by a guy named...Fuzzy..or Frizzy...or something. So..music is louder...I'm dancing like an idiot but think I look like Brittney Spears (also an idiot it turns out). I've got my hair in my face, drinking wine, laughing too loud and then someone gets out a camera. The night of the party I told someone " I can't WAIT to see those pictures!". Well, she never sent them and never sent them. We nagged her for a while and then just gave up.

She finally sent them. This past week. We went out last JULY. Anyway, GOOD GOD. I have arms the size of HAMS. I am never going out in public again unless I'm draped in a FULL SIZE BED SHEET. I don't think I'll even be able to get THAT around these freaky upper arms! And I'm not talking muscle...because God know's I wouldn't work out...I'm talking freakishly large upper arms that are just...FREAKISHLY LARGE!
So here's one of the pictures. We're on the wrong side of the bar here. We'd pretty much taken over the place by this point. The bar tender just kept serving up the drinks. That's me making the strange "jazz hands" pose. What the HELL??

Well, we had fun anyway. Who wouldn't have fun in bar that has a white ceramic Buddha on the popcorn popper? That just screams "FUN" right there.