I have a full time job as the clinic nurse in a three surgeon neurosurgery office. I spend my days discussing the finer points of lumbar laminectomies with people and debating whether or not the stuff we drained out of a brain abscess was staphylococcus or some other weird pus generating germ. Really fascinating stuff...I swear. Usually around 1:30 or 2:00 I start wistfully thinking that I'd really like to be at home playing with play dough with my daughter and imagine us playing happily in her room introducing My Little Pony to Dora and Boots so that they can discuss the latest in exploring and pony hairstyles.
Today....I stayed home. Emma has a cold and sounded grunky this morning (medical term grun-KEE - to be filled with grunk). My 15 year old wasn't feeling well either, so I (mother of the year) told him he could stay home. I called off work last night and blissfully made plans for the day. Waffles, chocolate chip cookies, chicken noodle soup. Ahhhhh.....a perfect day of domesticity.
Things were going according to my grand plan. I made waffles, started the soup, made the cookies, things were looking good. Filled the dishwasher, washed the pots and pans that wouldn't fit, took the dogs out, brought the dogs in, asked Emma to get dressed, fed the birds the left over waffles, picked up the house, asked Emma to get dressed again, called and made Greg an eye appointment, TOLD Emma to get dressed, tried to explain to the mortgage company that the check was on the way, GOT Emma dressed. Tried to talk two sick children into eating lunch. Failed. Emma agreed to eat several Oreos. Gave in. Picked up the house again, washed more dishes. Put the soup away because no one ate any. Dogs out...dogs in...more juice...decided I'd make some beads to sell on Ebay...ended up getting out green play dough...gave up making beads...dogs barking.."STOP IT!!!!"...dogs barking "FROSTY!!!" PEACHES!!". Cleaned up green play dough...averted tragedy with milk glass left on coffee table. Hung up Valentines decoration for the "holiday party" Emma thinks she's having. Talked to my ex-husband twice and my husband three times, dogs out...dogs in...picked up house. Woke up 15 year old. Cut pineapple, tried to plan dinner. Child yelling "DOGS EAT DOGS EAT DOGS EAT" while marching around the house with play food. Child throwing plastic green peppers at dog...dog yapping with delight. Fifteen year old hiding in room...finally finished set of beads..posted to Ebay...start dinner...child RUNNING RUNNING..."STOP RUNNING!! EMMA I MEAN IT!!!! YOU"RE GOING TO GET IT!!!" Child mocks mother and runs with delight into the living room trailing plastic food from big basket o' plastic food. DOGS BARKING!!!
Discussing brain abscesses is like lying on the beach. I have tomorrow off TOO...(giggles hysterically).
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