Bird pity party part two

It's still cold here. And you know...I DID go outside the other day and brought in the empty bird feeder so that I could fill it. The lid was actually frozen shut and that made me feel even WORSE for the birds. I could just imagine their sad little beady birdy eyes and their frozen little scaly feet. So after I managed to get the feeder thawed out enough to get the top off, I filled it with some delicious (? it's from Lowe's...do they make delicious bird food? Do birds even have taste buds?) no waste bird seed which I also managed to spill all over the laundry room. Now I should just put up a blinking "COME ON IN!" sign for the field mice (who are ALSO probably freezing by the way) because I'm sure they'll be interested in all that teeny tiny seed I spilled.

So I dragged the feeder back out to the hook outside in the 3 degree weather with the -24 wind chill and then hotfooted it back to the house because of course I only went out in my socks. I'm feeling all "Mother Teresa-sish" now and told Joe that maybe I should roll something in peanut butter and bird seed and hang it out side. He suggested the puppy. (Note to self: Joe not compassionate about bird population or for that matter...Bad Puppy aka: Frosty). I made a brief attempt to find a pine cone somewhere in the house (don't you have them lying around? Turns out I don't) and then gave up and sort of forgot about the whole thing.

Except. I've been watching that feeder since then. NOT ONE DAMN BIRD. So I started thinking. How do they find bird feeders anyway? Has mine been marked with a birdy "DON'T EAT HERE" rating in their bird Triple A guild to bird feeders? Like maybe it reads "BAD LOWE'S SEED, FEW SUNFLOWER SEEDS, NO ENTERTAINMENT, NO PEANUT BUTTER COATED PUPPIES..." and then I get like a half a star rating. How do I regain my status with the birds? I mean I threw some old bread out there a couple of weeks ago! Come on! My mom's place is RIDDEN with birds. I mean lousy with them. But she has cute feeders and lots of seed and SUET for God's sake. I just can't bring myself to hang cubes of fat in my trees!

Which is why I will only EVER have a half star rating in the bird world.