The germs are winning.

I have been fighting a cold for several days and now I've drifted into that land of mind-numbing-nose-running-Toyota-on-my-head-fatigue from which there is no return except on the Nyquil train. Sadly....I seem to have a one way ticket to germ land because tomorrow morning I have to be up early for the GARAGE SALE. I'm sure by 10 a m, after I'm asked by the umpteenth person "will you take ten cents for this?", I'll be handing out fifty dollar bills and saying "NO ...now just take this and GET OUT." Which will soon make me the most popular garage sale on the block and thus deepen my agony by bringing more freaks to my house. I swear...this cold stayed at bay all week and now...on the eve of destruction (read as: Garage Sale Eve)...the germs are turning up their booger machines and I can't move my head without dripping something unspeakable on my shirt. NOR can I eat...which I always find a drag. I have no appetite..which is a SURE sign that I'm sick because I can always find reason to eat...even if it's only to keep my teeth in practice. Usually my stomach has nothing to do with eating...my mouth is fully in charge of that project. Again..as usual...I digress. So...I'm cranky about the garage sale to begin with (I just want it all to go away and find a pile of money where it used to be)...and now I'm boogery and cranky....and probably contagious to boot. Buy this stuff I don't want and get anthrax FREE! Stop on in! I'm tired and not only is there the garage sale to contend with...but also ballet and the village Oktoberfest which is complete with a lighted parade (theme this year...Autumn Splendor!). We dig the light parade because...well..there are LIGHTS on everything...kids, floats, cars, dogs, horses...all covered with tiny Christmas lights powered by generators and battery packs. The highlight for me is the Shriner's wearing their fez's and riding go-cart camels...there's nothing better than 18 guys over age 60 dressed as Shriner's, fez tassels blowing in the wind, riding in different formations on fiberglass camels mounted on go-carts. I'm CONVINCED every year that there will be a big camel calamity...but the guys practice...I've seen them in the fairgrounds parking lot practicing their high speed camel figure eights. Unparalleled camel driving. There's also lots of candy throwing...best to bring an empty grocery bag...because you can't have too many pieces of dental work altering Laffy Taffy and Frootsie Rolls. I also get my supply of religious and political propaganda for the year and some free pencils. Who doesn't love free pencils?

By Sunday morning when it's time to take Emma to Sunday school and I go to church, I'll be a scaly nosed, bleary eyed, continually contagious, booger producing nightmare. But the garage sale will be behind me and Sunday night if it's not sold, it's either going to Amvets or to the curb for the trash pickers. I've put Joe in charge of the selling of things with the instructions of "TAKE WHATEVER THEY OFFER"..unless it's a free puppy or another child. We accept cash, cash and cash...oh and if they come and don't buy anything? I blow my nose and then make sure I shake their hand before they leave. See...now if they would have just bought something how much happier this would have ended?